Reasons Why Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages (MUST READ)

Just came across this interesting article and thought to share, not written by me!

OK let's face it. Modern marriages seem to be breaking down left right and center. All this "marrying the love of your life" etc seems to have been over-rated. a few days ago i might have been ready to stick my neck out in defense of modern marriages but right now I am having a rethink.

We all know that our parents and grandparents marriages lasted much longer than what we see nowadays. we try to attribute it to lack of 'open-eye' by the women or unavailability of statistics but I don't believe any of that. I firmly believe our grandparents marriages lasted longer because they knew what marriage was about and had many advisers in the form of extended, older and well experienced family members to go to for help in any grey area.



The white man is good at giving a dog a bad name to hang it. They show statistics and stories and movies of how arranged marriages were so wrong and how people ended up miserable not marrying 'their one true love', they show pictures of arranged marriages looking like two unwilling people that were forced together. I don't believe all that propaganda either. Arranged marriages were better than what we have now and i'll tell you why.

1. Your parents made sure you were mature enough to get married. its not like nowadays when we see kids marrying and breaking up for the littlest of things. in those days parents and in fact the community assessed the husband-to-be to be sure he had matured physically and more especially mentally before picking a wife for him. The same went for the woman.
(****please note this post does not include/condone child marriages that take place in the north and in certain religions. those guys are on their own)

2. Your parents made sure you were ready financially for the marriage. In my place, the man would be given a piece of land to till and also a small hut to take care of his future family before considering marriage. So there was shelter and sustenance prepared already for you and your new wife.

3. Your parents did a thorough interview and investigating of the proposed in-laws before even considering approaching them. this included the type of family, whether they were hot-tempered, whether the girl could cook, whether they were known for fighting their spouses, whether the men beat their women, whether there was mental illness, convulsions, barrenness, courtesy, industriousness, etc. by the time they were through most times the family going to pick a bride or accept a groom knew what they were going in for.

4. Both marriage partners had clearly defined rules of what their duties were in the house. There was no crossing of boundaries and each of the partners knew what they were expected to do t make the marriage work, if they failed in their responsibilities for any reason, they could easily be reported to the immediate or extended family.

5. Last but not the least, they were usually not blinded by love not to see each others bad sides. Falling in love is sweet and all, but it really makes you not to see the fault in your partner until it is too late. IN arranged marriages the love came afterwards. and it was a more matured and tolerant kind of love and not the mushroom love we see nowadays that can barely stand the pressures of everyday misunderstandings.

I think it is high time we revived the practice of Arranged marriages in our society.