How to Find a Wife(Must Read)

Hmmmmmm….. *Deep breath* I can see many ‘men’raising their eyebrows in cynicism as they read the
title, ‘ hopefully’ there will becsomething helpful here for you. I was asked to make a post on this topic, fear made me want to postpone it but I decided the sooner I keep my promise, the better. So, this is it guys! All those years of ‘brotherly’ advice, counselling and inspiration – plus observation will finally be put on paper. Please ‘bros’ if you’re reading this article because you’re looking for a cheap score, and you’re not ready to grow up and commit, this article is not for you… (read it and pass it on to your serious friends!)
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He that FINDETH a wife, not he that ‘wishes’, ‘prays’, or dreams (or asks his mother) is the one that obtains favour. Finding a wife takes, time, patience, focus and determined efforts. No matter what you think, ALL women want to be pursued; they want to be sought after (that’s why she took 6 months to say “yes”). You can’t just walk up to a stranger that you don’t know (or the first lady who smiles at you in a bus or a plane) and ask for her hand in marriage or a date. Only a fool or a desperate woman will agree to go out with you or spend her life with you when she doesn’t know you. Here are a couple of things you need to find “MRS RIGHT”:

1. FIND her heart:

Invest time in the woman you’re interested in. Discover her passion,what makes her angry or sad and what makes her tick.  This is easier to do when you don’t judge or criticise every little fault. There are no perfect women; over-criticism and impossibly high standards will push her away or turn her to a hypocrite and you won’t know the real person. Know what she loves, her values, her dreams, and her purpose. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to 

know if you’re going in the same direction. (It’s stupid to propose to a woman who wants to travel the world in a jet and you want to be a missionary in a remote village).  Yes, she will change some things for you, but it’s always easier if you know the kind of life she really wants to live and if you can provide it.If you want her to say yes, your goal is to find your way into her heart (not her bed) and plant yourself there. Stop talking about why she should be with you and show her why (without closing your bank account). Listen to her more, read between the lines of what she says. When hubby and I were dating, he came to visit me and I was talking about a conference in my church at the time and how ‘we’ as ushers were going to print t-shirts with the word “USHER” written at the back. I began to joke about how I’d love to get a t-shirt with my
name on the collar and ‘Nigeria’ at the back. I forgot about our little conversation, but  months later my birthday came and I got two t-shirts; both had my name at the back and one had ‘TOMI NIGERIA’ on the collar. He was actually listening! That was my best birthday present ever. I wore that shirt for years till the writing was completely faded and the t-shirt had holes I couldn’t patch together. Listen to her heart, and when you speak, she won’t be able to say no!

2. Find Yourself: 

There are many lover boys who have no problem finding the heart of the woman they love, but they haven’t yet discovered themselves.  You won’t find a real woman simply because you have a few romantic lyrics- and a sketchy idea of who you are.  Real women are drawn to purpose and a strong sense of identity, which is why wealthy men, powerful men and rebels a.k.a bad boys seem to be getting more attention.You don’t need to change who you are or pretend; you are an awesome ‘bro’ with a unique personality and a great purpose.  Give the woman you love the chance to know your heart. Be confident enough to let the real you shine through. Deal with your personal issues first, find your purpose and passion, get your life in order (find a job or start your business) and the woman will pay attention.

Written  by Tomi Sule