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<!-- /*--><!--/*--> "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> SABI NAIJA BLOG: A MUST ReAD Top Relationship Problems and Solutions

Monday, 2 June 2014

A MUST ReAD Top Relationship Problems and Solutions

There is no such thing as the perfect couple no matter how good things may seem. Every couple will experience some sort of problem in their relationship. Let’s take a quick look at some of the top relationship problems.

Cheating - Cheating is a very common relationship problem. Being unfaithful can lead to further problems and a lot of times causes many relationships to end.

Lack of Trust - Another common relationship problem is lack of trust. A lot of people find it hard to trust the person they are with. With this lack of trust, it can make the relationship complicated and cause further issues.

Little to No Communication - It takes communication to make a relationship work. When there is little or no communication in the relationship, the relationship itself can’t thrive and become something greater. Other problems may also occur because of little communication.

Jealousy - A lot of people may not think jealousy is a big problem but it can grow into a big issue enough to where it can destroy a relationship. If one or both partners find themselves in a jealous rage all the time, the relationship can’t grow into a healthy one and more problems can occur.

Constant Arguments - If you are in a relationship, there is a good chance that you have argued with your partner before. It isn’t always a bad thing because making up after the argument can help to build a stronger bond and strengthen the relationship itself. However, some couples constantly argue. They may argue over any little thing at any given time. This is when there really is a big problem and sadly, there are many couples out there that constantly argue with each other.

Abuse - Unfortunately, physical, verbal, and mental abuse can be present in a relationship. When it is, it is a big problem, especially physical abuse. In any case, any abuse should be dealt with immediately.

Being Controlling - A partner can become controlling and want to control the other partner and the relationship. This is a big problem. A relationship can’t grow when one wants to control everything and the other spouse has no say in anything.

Negativity - A lot of negativity in a relationship is an issue. A partner may always look at the negative side of everything or constantly criticize, nitpick, and nag.

Gossiping & Confiding in Everyone Else But The One They Are With - A lot of times, a partner may talk about what is going on in the relationship to friends, family, and other people. It is not always a bad thing but it can get out hand especially when the stuff that is said is negative, spiteful, or just dishonest. Sometimes, they may talk about what is going on in the relationship to seek some advice or input , which again isn’t all that bad but it can be when they can’t even go to the one they are having the problems with and discuss it one on one. They make it a habit to confide in others first and then their partner last.

The Blame Game - Sometimes one or both partners like to play the blame game. They may put the blame on the other for various things. Some examples of this goes something like this. “It’s your fault we don’t get to go out much” “You are the reason I am angry”, I blame you for causing me to not be able to trust you”. Sometimes a partner may put the blame on their partner for no valid reason at all or they do it out of spite.

Lack of Affection and/or Intimacy - Showing affection and being intimate in a relationship is something that should be done. Intimacy isn’t necessarily needed in some cases but sometimes when there is little to no intimacy, it can be a problem. Even though sex isn’t something that makes a relationship it can help to strengthen bonds and fulfill desires. Showing affection also helps to express feelings and strengthen each other bonds. When either is lacking or not present at all, it may impact the relationship in a negative way because for a lot of couples, affection and intimacy are indeed important.

Money - Sometimes a couple can experience some financial problems in a relationship. Sometimes a partner may want more and more money from their partner. In any case, having money issues in a relationship can cause conflicts.

Family & Friends - Family and friends can have a negative impact on a relationship. They may be against the relationship, may give bad relationship advice, may be too nosy, or even be more important the relationship itself.

The Past - It is hard for a relationship to move forward when the past has some influence on it. Often, a partner may have some issues with the past which can often affect their current relationship in a negative way. Bad past relationship experiences have been known to be an issue in new relationships when one is stuck in the past and having a hard time making the relationship they are in work to the fullest.

Relationship Not a Big Priority - There are a lot of things that can get in the way of a couples time they can spend together. Work, kids, hanging with friends, etc. It is OK if this happens every now and then but when other things always come before the time a couple can spend together, this is a problem. To sum it up, when a partner puts everything else before the relationship, this can be bad.

The Solutions

So now you know about some of the top problems couple face in relationships. So, how do you solve these type of problems? For some problems it isn’t all that hard to find a solution and work through the problems. For some, it may be a challenge and take some work. In any case, here are some of the general ways to solve most relationship problems.

Communicating - Talk about the problems you are facing one on one with your partner. Voice your opinion. Communicate more in general. Let your partner know how you feel.

Trusting One Another - Believe in one another and have some faith in the relationship. A relationship has to have trust in order to thrive.

Compromising - Sometimes you can’t always get what you want or have things go the way you would like it to go. Sometimes you will find that you have to make compromises in order for the relationship to move forward.

Staying Positive - Even if things are going too well, try to look on the bright side of things. Remember what made you fall in love with your partner. Think about the happy times. Have a positive outlook on things.

Those are just a few general ways to solve quite a few relationship problems. Let’s take a look at some of the top relationship problems mentioned above and come up with some brief solutions for them.

Cheating 

If you think you partner may be cheating on you and this is causing problems in the relationship, the first thing you need to do is confirm your suspicions because there may be a chance that they aren’t really cheating. Then after confirming that they are indeed cheating, you can choose which path to follow, to try to make the relationship work and try to rebuild trust or to leave the relationship.

Lack of Trust 

If you have recently lost trust in your partner or just don’t trust them, you have to try to work rebuilding or building trust in the relationship. Try to be honest about everything, be patient, leave the past behind, be responsible for any actions or decisions you make, and do what you say you will do.

Little or No Communication 

If your relationship lacks communication, all you have to do is communicate more. It isn’t too hard to talk with your partner is it?

Jealousy

If jealousy is a problem, find the root cause of the jealousy and try to change things so that you it doesn’t lead to jealousy. A lot of times, you just really got to be more confident with yourself and in the relationship.

Constant Arguments 

Arguing all the time isn’t healthy. Eliminate what triggers the arguments. Take some time away to let things calm down. This way when the topic is brought up again that caused the argument, both of you will have a more level head and can talk things over more calmly. Think before you let words come from your mouth and try to be calm when you and your partner is having a talk. Sometimes, you can just ignore them. If you have to, let them be right even though they may indeed be wrong. You can always prove someone wrong without going the verbal route.

Abuse 

Verbal and mental abuse is just wrong. If there is verbal or mental abuse in the relationship, it is a good idea to for both partners to have a long talk and discuss this issue seriously. This isn’t something that should be tolerated too long so if either abuse continues to be present, it is probably a good idea for the person being abusive to seek some counseling or for the person receiving the abuse to just leave the relationship. As far as physical abuse is concerned, my personal opinion is to get out of the relationship ASAP. Anyone that is being physically abused is taking a big chance by staying in the relationship even if the abusive partner is trying to get help.

Being Controlling 

If control is an issue in the relationship, set some boundaries and voice your opinion. Simply state that you will not be controlled and will not stay in the relationship if it continues to be an issue.

Negativity 

The easy way to fight negativity is by being positive.

Gossiping & Confiding In Others

Cut back on the gossip and try to confide in your partner first before confiding in others. What happens between you and your partner should be between you two and not the whole world. You can avoid quite a few problems in the relationship by making it this way. Also, if you have anything to say about your partner (good or bad), make sure you can tell them to their face before telling whatever it may be to others.

The Blame Game 

There are quite a few things that can be done to stop the blame game. If you are the one doing the blaming, stop trying to take the easy way out and take responsibility for your own actions. Maybe you are the one at fault. That is why you should think about things calmly before you point the finger and acknowledge their side of the story. If you feel irritated or life stress is causing you to put blame on your partner, deal with your stress or take it out on something else like a punching bag. Your partner shouldn’t be the one that you take your frustration or worries out on. If something is wrong and you feel that they are at fault, talk about it but don’t blame them. Maybe they will admit their mistakes or wrongdoing or try to make things better.

Lack of Affection/Intimacy 

Just show more affection or get your partner to show more affection if this an issue in your relationship. Hug, cuddle, kiss, etc. If it is lack of intimacy, do things that may get your partner more interested in being intimate. Try new things. You can always just tell them that you would like them to be more affectionate or intimate as well.

Money 

If your relationship is have some financial difficulties, try to work on things together. Come up with a plan together to better manage the income you share. Budget more, spend less, and find work or get a better job. The main thing is to work with each other on a solution. For money issues such as one wanting to spend a lot, they simply have to stop spending so much money. A good way to prevent this is by not spoiling them in the first place. If your partner is used to spending so much of your money, it isn’t a surprise when they want to continue this habit or want more.

Family & Friends

You have to set some boundaries when it comes to family and friends. A relationship consists of two people, not two people and their friends and family. Both partners need to set some boundaries with their friends and family. Let friends and family know their place and where they stand when it comes to the relationship. They shouldn’t come between the relationship or cause problems.

The Past 

It may be hard but you got to let go of the past to move forward in the relationship. If past relationship experiences are causing problems in your current relationship, you need to work on letting go of the past. This may mean getting closure in a past relationship or coming to terms with what happened in the past. If something bad happened in the past with a partner such as verbal abuse, you can’t let it affect your present relationship. You have to realize that everyone isn’t the same. Just because one person treated you bad doesn’t mean that everyone else you date will.

Relationship Not a Big Priority 

The person you are with and the relationship itself should be a top priority. They don’t always have to come first but they should come first as much as possible. Try to start putting the relationship first before unimportant things. Put other things on hold so that you can spend time with your partner.

These are just some brief solutions to some of the most common relationship problems. You can get full in depth solutions to many relationship problems mentioned here and more. Just take a look at some of the articles Here.

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