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<!-- /*--><!--/*--> "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> SABI NAIJA BLOG: Why Do Many Nigerian Girls Have Terrible Attitude? SNB Reader Shares his Experience

Monday, 26 January 2015

Why Do Many Nigerian Girls Have Terrible Attitude? SNB Reader Shares his Experience

Read the true life story our blog reader sent in dearies, and let's discuss. Our guy is so pissed off.
Hello SNB,
First of all, please forgive me because this write-up may be a bit long but I just want to pour out my heart and my recent experience so that we can all learn from it.
A girl contacted me through a dating show recently (she contacted me on Saturday). She called me for like 30 seconds and cut it as we were talking, and of course you know the usual thing!  She expected me to call back which I did immediately. You know that most of them will never call you for longer than one minute for the first time, even if they work in Central Bank of Nigeria! Lol!
As we talked (after I called her back), I asked her some things about herself which she
told me. But as we were talking, I noticed this air of arrogance in her and it was a very loud air of arrogance. The first instance was when I was only just trying to chip in something while we talked and she said something like: "na wa for you, can't you just keep quiet and listen"? I was shocked but I didn’t show it.  Or am I the only one who feels this is not polite enough?  
If you're discussing with someone on the phone, and they're telling you something, is it wrong to chip in things like: "Hmmm, ok, eyaaah", etc, while they're talking to you? Is it a crime to do this? Are you just expected to keep quiet for the whole of the five minutes or so of the conversation? But let's even assume you "mistakenly" interjected according to them, are they supposed to make the above statement? Especially someone you've never met, especially someone you're expecting to go into a relationship with?
We talked for long on phone and after she told me some things about herself I then asked her to give me her Facebook ID which she refused.  At a point, she even kept quiet for long and didn't know what to say or what lie to tell me about her Facebook ID just because she didn't want to give it to me.  
From my bad experiences from "runs girls", pretenders, players, scammers and all sorts of bad girls in recent past, I have come to learn that I must first insist on seeing a girl's profile and pictures on the social media, especially on Facebook which I'm more comfortable with, after she contacts me via the show. From there you will know who is genuine or not and know who is out to scam you or who is a runs girl. If she tries to hide her ID from you or tells you she is not on Facebook even when she is, then you'll know she's hiding something or trying to scam you. Pls note that in this instance, the first port of contact for both of you is the dating show which is radio or TV. (Blind date or whatever you call it!)  
So after seeing your profile and pictures, then if I like you, then we can probably arrange to meet at a public place, eg Mr Biggs, Sweat Sensation,  etc and discuss more. If I don't like you, from your picture or personality, there will be no need to waste my time arranging for a meeting with you. Yes, life itself is a gamble, so sometimes if you're too busy with work or you're the buse type, you may try out this dating option and if it works for you, fine, if not, life continues.  
And when I  say I had bad experiences from these so called "runs girls", players and pretenders, I mean that it was really a bad experience that is a story for another day. Many of them have scammed me of a lot of money all in the name of love. So if you were the one, won't you be more careful? If you were the one, won't you be bitter?
So when she didn’t know what lie to tell me anymore about her Facebook ID, she then said that she had not activated her Facebook ID. But she is actually on Facebook! But if someone is on Facebook, do you need any form of activation for me to view your profile? Capital No! Even if you have not been active on Facebook, all I need is your ID to view your profile and pictures, and you don't even need to log into your ID before I can view it using my own profile.  
So as she continued to avoid giving me her ID, I told her no problem, that if that was what she wanted, I would abide by it. I asked her her complexion and she told me she was chocolate, as well as her height and other physical attributes.  
So as we talked, I was trying to tell her that it's good for us to see each other's picture online before meeting physically because it will even make it easier for us to identify each other on the day we shall meet physically. But as soon as I said this, she got angry and said many things including this expression that really surprised me: "This guy, you argue too much, I'm telling you something and you're arguing with me", just because she was hiding her ID from me.  And I never even argued with her in the first place. I felt she shouldn't have made that kind of statement. I felt it was rude of her or am I wrong?  Talking of age, I'm definitely nine years older than her and she's in her late twenties according to her.  
But despite our age difference, partners are equal once you're in a relationship, so I don’t feel special because of being older, but is it polite of her to have made such remark? Age difference to me is nothing if both of you in a relationship are matured and there's mutual respect. At least for the fact that we haven't even met, was she not supposed to observe some decorum in her utterances? No she didn't but displayed her very hot temper on that first day. But thank God she even showed herself early!  
So it really pissed me off instantly, so I told her I'm not happy with such remark and that I was no longer interested in meeting her. I ended the call. But it seemed to me she was desperate for a relationship or was it desperate to scam me I should say? She then started sending me very annoying messages, many of them I can't reproduce here, but I will just reproduce one of those messages below for you to read and judge for yourself if such should come from any decent girl. I still have all the messages in my phone as I write this. 
It reads: "Ur entire family is arrogant. U're a bastard. Useless thing. Animal like u.''
I was shocked by all her insultive messages but I just laughed over it. It showed she was desperate. But why are some girls so desperate, mannerless and utterly rude?  Why must we men always be at the receiving end of women's rude behavior and bad mouth? How can women expect to have successful relationships if they don't control their temper and refrain from their well known terrible attitude and bad mouth? Mind you, I'm not against women per se, because men have their own flaws too.  
During our conversation, she had told me she graduated from the University of Ibadan in 2011 and studied Business Administration and she's from Ondo state. Whether such claims are actually true I can't tell.  She said she lived in Abuja before and just came to Lagos recently (two months ago)  and that she is currently working with House of Tara in Festac,  Lagos. She said she lives in Festac alone and according to her, she's just managing the job at Tara for now. As we discussed on the phone, she didn't even know me or who I am, she hasn't met me before and she didn't even know that I can even employ her. She told me her name was Lola (Omolola).  
I even had cause to doubt whether she was actually a graduate or a "half-baked graduate" because in one of her numerous insultive text messages to me she wrote something like: "did i told u dat am searching"! And many other unforgivable blunders in many of her messages! I was surprised that someone who claimed to have studied Business Administration from the prestigious University of Ibadan could write that way! Even a primary four pupil should know it should be "Did I tell you... ".  
Pls I'm very sorry for saying this, but UI graduates pls kindly come out and defend yourselves. Let us stop the rot in our University system and in our citadels of learning in Nigeria. Let us stop this issue of saying Nigerian graduates are unemployable by employers of labour. Can she truly be a graduate of the prestigious premier University, UI? What has University education really become in Nigeria? I'm a graduate myself of a reputable Nigerian University and I'm ashamed of these type of half-baked products from our universities who are not worthy in character and learning and who try to soil the name of our reputable citadels of academic excellence. Let me just stop there; let me not say much about myself, it's of no need here.  
So she's now pretending not to be searching anymore just because I told her I didn’t like her behavior! Who knows what she did in Abuja that made her relocate to Lagos in the first place? Who knows whether she was even sent packing from Abuja because of this type of arrogant and mannerless behavior? I hope that the management of House of Tara in Festac would endeavor to really investigate this girl properly because I don't think she deserves to work there. This is the type of girl that will put her employers in trouble if she continues to work there.  This is the type of girl that can even put her employer into serious indebtedness with her bad behavior, rude attitude and flippant mouth and I'm talking from experience.  
Nigerian men should please "shine your eyes" and run away from all these mannerless and hot-tempered girls all over the place who pretend to be who they are not. Many of them are rude, mannerless and highly materialistic. Pls pardon my language but I'm seriously pained by this girl's behavior. The only way we can change our society for the better and make relationships work better is not to tolerate bad behavior of this nature and to speak out against it. Let everybody who has any such nasty experience come out to share their experiences and speak against it.  
Let us stop indulging or tolerating bad behavior from both guys and girls. Let us stop this mentality that girls or women are naturally terrible or that a woman must have bad behavior and as a result, we now tolerate all sorts of bad manners and bad mouth from women. Women should stop saying that your mouth is your strength and then you use it badly. Let your mouth be your strength in a positive way and not by having bad mouth. There are actually good women out there who would not do this. A woman with bad mouth does not deserve to be married, simple!  
Let us stop wife battery and domestic violence by not only preaching against it, but by also vehemently speaking against bad mouth, bad attitude and bad manners by our women which are the direct and remote causes of wife battery in many instances.  Let us save our marriages by speaking against some "little things" that matter. It is wrong for a woman to insult a man. It is also wrong for a man to insult a woman or to beat her. Let us realize that there's no smoke without fire.  
Relationship,  dating and particularly marriage is a very serious business which you must never toy with if you want to have a peaceful life and a successful sojourn on earth.
Let us all learn from this. Pls let's have your candid comments on these issues.  Let’s make our relationships and marriages work better. Let's make Nigeria better. Pls remember to vote wisely in the forthcoming elections. God bless Nigeria. God bless you all.  
From: Anonymous.
Lagos.

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